Second Week Tsunami

Zdrastvuitye!

This week has been a tsunami of emotions! Mostly good emotions, but sometimes not. The great thing about the MTC is that you can receive comfort and counsel from literally anything or anyone. It's amazing how easy it has become for me to turn something as insignificant as a leaf sitting on the sidewalk into an object lesson about breaking away from social conformity or whatever. The Spirit has a crazy effect on your perception of simple things.

Anyways, this week was a lot less insane than last week since we didn't have to scramble as much to figure out our schedules and where everything is. Every single minute of our day is planned out to the millisecond, which is great, but it sometimes feels very prison-like knowing that we can't leave. The MTC is almost literally a voluntary, spiritual prison. You have to be up and ready at a certain time and place, you have your meals at a certain time and place, you have to be at your classes at certain times and places, you can only work out in specified areas where there are staff watching you, you can't go anywhere alone, you can't bring bags into large meeting areas, there's a large fence around the outside, and there are guards on duty 24/7. The only differences between prisoners and missionaries in the MTC are: prisoners get to watch TV and are there for a longer period of time; our food is better and we're always happy regardless of the fact that we know we're physically trapped here until our departure date. I love it here despite the isolation.

Another strange thing about the MTC is that time doesn't feel like a real thing. It feels similar to what I imagine being stuck in limbo is like. The fist couple of weeks have flown by, but at the same time it feels like I've been here for three months. Some days feel like there is literally no way that they will end, and others feel like a constant Friday. Lunchtime feels like dinnertime, bedtime feels like morning; it's just a strange time warp that I don't know how to get out of.

Fun fact time! All of the Russian missionaries sit together at lunch in a specific area. This particular section of the cafeteria kind of sticks out of the building almost like an addition on a home and it is separated from the rest of the cafeteria with columns. We call it the "Iron Curtain." Only Russians are supposed to eat in the Iron Curtain, but there are always a few non-Russian newbies that don't know any better and sit there. We never estrange them or make them feel bad or anything, I just think the Iron Curtain Concept is funny.

Another fun fact! We don't have any of these in the sister's dorms, but apparently in the Elder's dorms they have these things called Narnia Holes. A Narnia Hole is basically a hidden time capsule that previous Elders have put stuff in. Here's an example: One of the Elder's in our District noticed that the light switch cover in their room was loose, so he figured out how to twist it around to expose the inside. I don't know how, but the light switch hole was crammed with literally anything from candy to letters. I guess most of the rooms have Narnia Holes in them because another Elder came to class with a tie that he found in one of these holes, and his companion found a watch in another Hole. Sounds like they're everywhere. The Elders managed to break open a closed-off air vent and found people's photo books, clothes, letters, belongings, pretty much anything.

One more fun fact. There's an unspoken rivalry between the Russian and German Elders (of course it's the Elders) that started who knows how long ago. The Elders from either side figured out how to unlock the room doors using only a wire hanger, an envelope, a long piece of floss, and a vacuum (don't ask me how they discovered that), so they always break into each other's rooms and change alarms and stuff. Someone brought a fake bug that chirps every four minutes and hid it in the Elders from our District's room. Let's just say they were very very tired the next day. The Germans also decided that it would be fun to go curling on the carpet with a hot iron. Of course they used the Russian's iron, and of course the carpet melted to it. Glad I'm not an Elder.

Anyways, on to this weeks activities. A majority of our week consists of language study and teaching our investigators. Right now we have two investigators named Era and Kasenya (they're just our teachers who are playing the role of an investigator). Teaching them has been a very humbling experience for sure. I learned very quickly about how important it is to have the Holy Ghost as your companion along with your real companion. Some of our lessons have been successful and others couldn't have been worse. This is 100% determined by how strong the Spirit is in our preparation and in the lesson. I'm not going to sugar coat it, most of the lessons this week were really hard. The Russian has gotten pretty discouraging and times and it is extremely demoralizing when you go into a lesson feeling really confident and then you can't remember anything that you just spent hours memorizing. I have gotten discouraged to the point of crying sometimes and the only thing that keeps me from giving up is the fact that I can pray for comfort and KNOW that Heavenly Father WILL comfort me. Every time, without fail, when I have prayed for comfort, I've gotten an answer. The package that I got from the family was a HUGE answer to my prayers. Right after Cectpa McKell and I got out of a rough lesson, I was in tears. I was feeling so inadequate and disappointed in myself. Immediately after I prayed for comfort, our District leader handed me a package slip and I couldn't have been more grateful. My testimony has definitely been strengthened in the area of prayer. No doubt about it. The Russian is coming slowly and I need to remember that it's only week 2, so I'm not going to be perfect at the language. The Gift of Tongues is real, it just takes some faith to believe it.

Alright, enough of the sad things. Regardless of what I just wrote, this week was actually pretty fun. We go to the temple every P-day so that has been an excellent blessing for lifting my spirit. After we do a session, our Zone is allowed to eat in the temple cafeteria. The food is so good and it's really cheap! Love it! I probably mentioned this previously, but we also do a temple walk every Sunday after sacrament and that is one of my favorite parts of the week. The weather was so perfect, but my eyes decided that the lovely gray overcast was too bright, so I pretty much ruined everyone's pictures with my red-eyed squint face. You can probably see it in some of the pictures that I sent you. My eyes were literally flowing with tears and I had to try so hard to make a somewhat happy looking face. Didn't work out so well.

Choir was amazing as usual. We sang "Jesus Once of Humble Birth" at the devotional on Tuesday and it was so powerful! The Spirit was so strong. We haven't had any apostles come and speak to us yet, but I heard that the numbers heat up when it gets closer to conference, so we're in the money zone. Hopefully I'll be able to hear from one soon. That's all for this week!

Da Svidanya!

Love,

Cectpa Wagstaff

First Week Success

Zdrastvuitye!

This week has been the most spiritually uplifting week of my life! The Spirit is constantly with me when I'm obedient and I cannot describe how much I love that! I have so much to talk about, I don't even know where to start.

After I said goodbye to you guys, I was immediately swept away to start the MTC journey. I got my tag, my schedule, my books (the packet lied... my books literally weigh 20 pounds. Someone used the baggage scale to prove that), and then I met one of my teachers. Her name is Sister Quinn and she got back from serving in Samara exactly two years ago from today. Our other teacher's name is Brother Froelich. He's been back from his mission for about a year or two as well. I don't know where he served. They speak the language very fluently. My companion's name is Cectpa (Sister) McKell and I seriously LOVE her. She's from Draper, UT and she has such a sweet spirit. I tried to attach a picture of the two of us together, but it wouldn't work for some reason, so I'll try again next week. That's one of the only pictures I've taken so far, but I'll try to take more to show you what the MTC is like. We had a lot of meetings on the first day. We met a few fake investigators and had the opportunity to teach them in huge groups. Pretty cool.

The food situation was as expected. It's a giant cafeteria with a TON of food options. I have to admit, the food is super good, but I don't think I'll ever get carried away since I'll have 8 weeks to try everything out. We have a specific time allotted for gym everyday, so that's been a huge blessing since the food is delicious.  

The living quarters aren't as tight as I thought they were going to be. I'll try to remember to take a picture of it. There are three bunk beds, six tall closet things (if you can call it a closet), three desks, and four people. Sister Mckell and I only have one other companionship living with us since there aren't very many Russian speaking people in the MTC, especially sisters. The sisters that are living with us are Sister Fackrell and Sister Leavitt. They are so great! They are our trainers, so they show us around and help us a lot. They leave in a couple of weeks, so we won't get to learn from them as much as I thought. We will most likely have the room to ourselves for the rest of our time at the MTC after they leave because a HUGE group of sisters left for Russia on Monday, so there are two or three empty rooms around us. The first night was really fun because Sister Leavitt's dad was in town so he sent her a big box full of fancy cheeses and snacks... pretty weird. Anyways, we went over to a neighboring room and had a cheese party! He sent her a cheese slicer as well so we just sat on the floor and passed around the cheese. So great!

I have learned so much here already, it's truly mind blowing. Our teachers only speak to us in Russian, so there's a lot of charades going on on their part. It gets pretty funny sometimes. Our District is phenomenal and they all have something different to offer. Our zone is equally as amazing. The learning aspect has been going great! On day two we learned how to pray in Russian, on day three we taught a lesson in Russian, and every day since then we've taught lessons. At this point it's a lot of memorization and reading off of papers, but I've learned so many words, I cannot imagine how much I'll know before I leave the MTC. Cectpa McKell and I do laps around the hallway when we're trying to memorize things, and the other Russian Districts started to notice that. At one point, the Elders from another District had us count how many steps it took to walk a lap, measured our stride length, and calculated how many laps it would take to walk a mile. They concluded that it would be about 42 laps around the hallway to get to a mile. Anyways, The investigator that we've been teaching is named Nastiya (rough English translation). We taught her about 4 lessons. The first lesson was kind of rough because we didn't know how to pronounce any of the churchy words, so we basically just sounded out words in front of her. Awesome. The second lesson went a little bit better. Brother Froelich told us that we weren't allowed to use notes, which we assumed meant we couldn't bring ANYTHING, so we struggled with words a little bit again, but not as much. The third lesson was WAY better because Sister Quinn clarified that we could bring a rough outline to the lessons, but we weren't supposed to read a script. The fourth lesson started off embarrassingly because right as we knocked on the classroom door that Nastiya was in, we forgot that we needed a Book of Mormon for our lesson, so we ran away. As luck would have it, Nastiya opened the door right as we turned to run away. Neither of us knew what to say, so we just started shouting a bunch of Russian-sounding gibberish at her. Good times. That lesson went very well though. Afterwards, our teacher showed us a video that Nastiya sent them to show us. She complemented all of our hard work and progress. Then she threw in a surprise. Her name is actually Cectpa O'Neil and she is going to be our teacher starting tomorrow (today). I'm really excited, but I was not expecting that.  

So far we've had two devotionals and both of them were SO spiritual. Elder Oaks' daughter, Jenny Oaks Baker, a world renowned violinist, came and spoke to us on Sunday and played about four songs for us with her family. Cectpa McKell is an AMAZING violinist and Jenny was her teacher, so she was really excited to see her. Then we had a devotional on Tuesday that we helped set up for, and Sister Bonnie Oscarson (the General Young Women's President) spoke. It was definitely a spiritually uplifting talk, for sure. Cectpa McKell and I are in the MTC choir (best decision so far) and we sang a a different version of "Precious Savior, Dear Redeemer" at the devo. It was so powerful, I started tearing up while we were singing. 

It's so crazy that I've only been here a week! It feels like I've been here for a month because of how quickly everything is flying by. I'm so glad to hear that you are all doing well. Let me know how school goes on Thursday! My P-days are on Wednesdays if you didn't already know that (I thought they were Mondays). Anyways, stay righteous and do your best in everything! I'll talk to you next week!

Do Svidanya! Love,

Cectpa Wagstaff

Woman of Steel

Hello everyone! So... a little bit has happened since my last post in September. By a little, I mean a lot... and by a lot, I mean a LOT. I did eventually come to a decision about whether or not I would serve a mission. Since I have indeed returned to my blog entitled "The Mini MISSIONARY," I think it's safe to assume that I decided in favor of serving. The process of finding an answer to this question was a long and hard battle with my mind, let me tell you. I will share with you the experiences that directed the desires of my heart to sharing the gospel. The point of this post is not to boast that "my conversion story is better than yours" or anything of that nature; quite the opposite actually. The point of this post is to help people realize that it's not always easy for individuals to decide that going on a mission is the right thing for them to do, and that's okay. Based on what I went through, sometimes it's our own ignorance that keeps us from seeing the answer that's right in front of our faces. It isn't always peaches and daisies when it comes to making the life-changing decision to serve the Lord.

For some people, the process of deciding to go on a mission is peaches and daisies. Remember in The Hunger Games how the tributes from District 1 were basically trained from a young age to compete in the Games? Aside from rivaling against others and trying to murder everyone in sight, there are similarities between the District 1 tributes and some prospective missionaries. A few of my friends pretty much knew from the day that they were born that they would serve a mission and began preparing as soon as they could hold a Book of Mormon by themselves. Their daily lives consisted of reading the scriptures during class, asking a blessing on their school lunches, presiding as seminary class presidents, and polishing their halos. That definitely wasn't me. I do not loathe, nor am I envious of, the lifestyles that these individuals pursued, mostly because I doubt that I would have been able to uphold that kind of perfection if I tried... which I did. Their mission calls were excited, anticipated, and expected to be delivered on a silver platter due to the amount of time that they spent preparing for this moment. Most of them probably could have been shipped out immediately with a badge on their shirts as a result of their diligent preparation; completely opposite from myself!

After I graduated high school, I had a primary-level understanding of The Book of Mormon and basically no knowledge of The Bible whatsoever. Sure, I knew some stories like David and Goliath and Daniel and the Lions' Den, but everything else was either blurry or nonexistent in my mind. This can be attributed to the fact that I was either inattentive in church and seminary or dead asleep in either setting. Pretty great, right? Wrong. This was one of the reasons that I was contemplating whether I'd even know enough doctrine to go on a mission in the first place. After taking a few institute classes and actually paying attention, I realized that I knew a lot more than I thought. I was no expert by any means, but I discovered that some of the songs that I learned in primary were much more beneficial at teaching me Bible stories than I previously thought.

To sum up everything that I just wrote, I did not think or feel that I was prepared enough to serve a mission. At the time, I wasn't interested in comparing myself to others on the subject of "who would be a better missionary," mostly because I did not see myself serving a mission in the foreseeable future. Now as I watch my friends receive their mission calls, I recognize that their "holy is me" behaviors and habits that I once saw as being "unusual" in high school will transpire to their success in the mission field. Unlike my peers who just knew that they would go on a mission, I wasn't so lucky. I never had one, defining 'Aha' moment where I just knew that giving up 18 months of my life was the right thing for me to do. It was more-so a series of 'ah' and some 'ha' moments that ultimately lead to my decision to go on a mission. The process was long and somewhat confusing at times, but I know without a shadow of a doubt that I made the right decision and that I have the potential to change peoples' lives.

Now on to the stories! The experiences that I shared in my previous blog post sparked the flame for my desire to serve a mission. Without listening to that presentation and having the opportunity to be called as a ward missionary, I don't know if I would be preparing to go on a mission right now or if I'd even want to serve. I had so many testimony-building experiences as a ward missionary, I can only imagine how much greater it will be to be able to rekindle and intensify some of those feelings when I serve as a full-time missionary.

One of the most memorable visitations that I had as a ward missionary was when I was teaching a recent convert the Plan of Salvation. She had heard this lesson before, as it is required for an investigator to be taught all of the missionary discussions before being baptized, but I didn't realize how big of an impact this lesson in particular would have on my testimony until I began teaching her. As I suspected would happen, my ward missionary companion showed up to my door empty-handed minutes before we were scheduled to be at the appointment. Thankfully, I had already planned the lesson according to the dictates of my own conscious, minus one of the most important segments. I am literally the worst person ever at coming up with introductions. This is not exclusive to just lessons, I struggle to introduce essays, conversations, talks, myself, etc, so I did what any person with internet access would do and I looked up a video; a Mormon Message to be exact. This Mormon Message was entitled "My New Life." I had seen this particular clip many times before, as it is one of my favorites, but it developed a whole new meaning for myself after this lesson. For those who have never seen this video, it relays the story of a survivor of a near-fatal plane crash. She talks about her Christ-centered life and the love of family. That's about as deep as I'm going to go into the description because I think everyone should watch it.

Anyways, after I threw together everything else that I had prepared for the lesson, we headed over to this wonderful member's apartment. After a quick prayer and a little small talk, I played the clip. It's a bit lengthy compared to other Mormon Messages, but everyone's eyes were glued to the screen the entire time. After the video was over, I asked the member how she felt about what she had seen. She gave me an answer that reflected what she thought I'd want to hear and not necessarily something that she actually felt. That isn't always a bad thing, but it's hard to strengthen your testimony if you don't actually feel that what you're being taught is true. I looked over at my companion in hopes that she would have something to add to what had been said. With tears in her eyes, my companion told about how her father had been killed in a plane crash just a year before and how her knowledge of the Plan of Salvation was sometimes the only thing that could bring her comfort when she felt grievous or upset about the loss of her dad. I had no idea that my companion had experienced this tragedy! Both the member and myself had tears in our eyes as my companion relayed her story. I was astonished at how powerfully the Spirit filled the room. As I looked into that member's eyes at the close of the lesson, I could tell that she was finally able to feel that what we taught her was true. Not only was my testimony of the Plan of Salvation strengthened, but also my knowledge and testimony on the power of inspiration. This video that I had chosen merely due to its familiarity had become a vessel for my companion to relate to and share her experiences. I don't think my companion and I could have planned this lesson any better if we tried. The church is true, my friends!

Another experience that lent a hand in my decision to serve a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints was actually another Institute presentation. The particular individual who spoke was none other than Sister Elaine S. Dalton, the former general president of the Young Women organization. I went in to the presentation expecting a talk about temple marriage, the joys of raising a family, giving service, yada yada... but that was not the case in this instance. Lo and behold, she spoke about missionary work. Surprise, surprise! Well... I guess that's not entirely true. Some parts of Sister Dalton's talk could easily be related to missionary work, but that wasn't the main focus of her presentation. Her message was actually about how everyone can and should be "a light and a standard for the world"... That seemed very missionary-esque to me! There was one quote in particular that really struck a chord with me. Sister Dalton said: "You are custom made to fulfill you divine eternal mission." Regardless of how short this passage is, there are no words to describe how powerfully this phrase hit me. I was very conscious of, and at times even fed, my shortcomings, fears, and anxieties about serving a mission. After hearing this line from such an inspirational woman, all of these unnecessary concerns became irrelevant. God designed me to be successful in all of my callings, mission related or not. My personality, my thoughts, my feelings, everything about me was made for a reason and not one single part of myself is useless or nonessential. It took me a while to know that this is true, but now that I do, I'll never be the same.

I had some very spiritual experiences involving the temple that were ultimately the deciding factors in all of this. They are sacred to me and I will carry them in my heart as I serve the Lord. Shortly after all of this transpired, I met with my Singles Ward Bishop in September, started my paperwork in December, turned everything in on the 25th of March 2014, and got my call on April 9th.

Dear Sister Wagstaff,

You are hereby called to serve as a missionary of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. You are assigned to labor in the Russia Samara Mission. It is anticipated that you will serve for a period of 18 months. 

You should report to the Provo Missionary Training Center on Wednesday, August 13, 2014. You will prepare to preach the gospel in the Russian language.

I was definitely on a Spiritual high when I read my mission call to my family through Skype and my friends who came to support me. It wasn't until later that I began to grasp the magnitude of my calling. Russia. So foreign. So huge. So intimidating. So many rumors of war. I honestly didn't know what to expect. I have never been, nor will I ever be, afraid or nervous to go to Russia. While I am in the Lord's errand, I will be protected. There's a quote from Man of Steel that has been the #1 support for me as I prepare to go to Russia. The scene that the quote is from takes place towards the beginning of the movie when Clark is a young boy in school and he manifests X-Ray vision and super-hearing during class. As anyone would, he becomes terrified at what is happening and he runs from his classroom. He hides in a janitor's closet, and his mother comes to the school to coax him out. Martha Kent says a short, powerful line that influences more individuals than just Clark. “If the world’s too big, then make it smaller.” Over the summer, I had the opportunity to learn a little bit about the Russian language and culture from one of the most amazing women I have ever met. I was able to learn about the area, the people, the food, etc. before I even set foot in Russia. By learning about my mission beforehand,  I kind of made the world smaller for myself. When people are overly scared or anxious about going on a mission, this can sometimes be attributed to the fear of the unknown. The world is too big and people sometimes get scared when they don't know what to expect. If anyone feels like their world is too big, whether you're literally going somewhere in the world that is intimidating or your situation feels big, I would encourage you to educate yourself; learning and praying definitely bridges the gap at least a little and makes the world seem smaller.

I cannot even begin to explain how excited and grateful I am to have this opportunity to share the gospel with the Russian people. I haven't even set foot in Russia yet and I already love it and the people. The overwhelming gratitude I feel toward our loving Heavenly Father for giving me this sacred calling is indescribable. I cannot wait to help people learn the truth and change their lives. Thank you all for your support and for encouraging me along in this journey! I look forward to sharing my story with you as I go on the adventure of a lifetime in Samara, Russia. Adventure is out there!