For some people, the process of deciding to go on a mission is peaches and daisies. Remember in The Hunger Games how the tributes from District 1 were basically trained from a young age to compete in the Games? Aside from rivaling against others and trying to murder everyone in sight, there are similarities between the District 1 tributes and some prospective missionaries. A few of my friends pretty much knew from the day that they were born that they would serve a mission and began preparing as soon as they could hold a Book of Mormon by themselves. Their daily lives consisted of reading the scriptures during class, asking a blessing on their school lunches, presiding as seminary class presidents, and polishing their halos. That definitely wasn't me. I do not loathe, nor am I envious of, the lifestyles that these individuals pursued, mostly because I doubt that I would have been able to uphold that kind of perfection if I tried... which I did. Their mission calls were excited, anticipated, and expected to be delivered on a silver platter due to the amount of time that they spent preparing for this moment. Most of them probably could have been shipped out immediately with a badge on their shirts as a result of their diligent preparation; completely opposite from myself!
After I graduated high school, I had a primary-level understanding of The Book of Mormon and basically no knowledge of The Bible whatsoever. Sure, I knew some stories like David and Goliath and Daniel and the Lions' Den, but everything else was either blurry or nonexistent in my mind. This can be attributed to the fact that I was either inattentive in church and seminary or dead asleep in either setting. Pretty great, right? Wrong. This was one of the reasons that I was contemplating whether I'd even know enough doctrine to go on a mission in the first place. After taking a few institute classes and actually paying attention, I realized that I knew a lot more than I thought. I was no expert by any means, but I discovered that some of the songs that I learned in primary were much more beneficial at teaching me Bible stories than I previously thought.
To sum up everything that I just wrote, I did not think or feel that I was prepared enough to serve a mission. At the time, I wasn't interested in comparing myself to others on the subject of "who would be a better missionary," mostly because I did not see myself serving a mission in the foreseeable future. Now as I watch my friends receive their mission calls, I recognize that their "holy is me" behaviors and habits that I once saw as being "unusual" in high school will transpire to their success in the mission field. Unlike my peers who just knew that they would go on a mission, I wasn't so lucky. I never had one, defining 'Aha' moment where I just knew that giving up 18 months of my life was the right thing for me to do. It was more-so a series of 'ah' and some 'ha' moments that ultimately lead to my decision to go on a mission. The process was long and somewhat confusing at times, but I know without a shadow of a doubt that I made the right decision and that I have the potential to change peoples' lives.
Now on to the stories! The experiences that I shared in my previous blog post sparked the flame for my desire to serve a mission. Without listening to that presentation and having the opportunity to be called as a ward missionary, I don't know if I would be preparing to go on a mission right now or if I'd even want to serve. I had so many testimony-building experiences as a ward missionary, I can only imagine how much greater it will be to be able to rekindle and intensify some of those feelings when I serve as a full-time missionary.
One of the most memorable visitations that I had as a ward missionary was when I was teaching a recent convert the Plan of Salvation. She had heard this lesson before, as it is required for an investigator to be taught all of the missionary discussions before being baptized, but I didn't realize how big of an impact this lesson in particular would have on my testimony until I began teaching her. As I suspected would happen, my ward missionary companion showed up to my door empty-handed minutes before we were scheduled to be at the appointment. Thankfully, I had already planned the lesson according to the dictates of my own conscious, minus one of the most important segments. I am literally the worst person ever at coming up with introductions. This is not exclusive to just lessons, I struggle to introduce essays, conversations, talks, myself, etc, so I did what any person with internet access would do and I looked up a video; a Mormon Message to be exact. This Mormon Message was entitled "My New Life." I had seen this particular clip many times before, as it is one of my favorites, but it developed a whole new meaning for myself after this lesson. For those who have never seen this video, it relays the story of a survivor of a near-fatal plane crash. She talks about her Christ-centered life and the love of family. That's about as deep as I'm going to go into the description because I think everyone should watch it.
Anyways, after I threw together everything else that I had prepared for the lesson, we headed over to this wonderful member's apartment. After a quick prayer and a little small talk, I played the clip. It's a bit lengthy compared to other Mormon Messages, but everyone's eyes were glued to the screen the entire time. After the video was over, I asked the member how she felt about what she had seen. She gave me an answer that reflected what she thought I'd want to hear and not necessarily something that she actually felt. That isn't always a bad thing, but it's hard to strengthen your testimony if you don't actually feel that what you're being taught is true. I looked over at my companion in hopes that she would have something to add to what had been said. With tears in her eyes, my companion told about how her father had been killed in a plane crash just a year before and how her knowledge of the Plan of Salvation was sometimes the only thing that could bring her comfort when she felt grievous or upset about the loss of her dad. I had no idea that my companion had experienced this tragedy! Both the member and myself had tears in our eyes as my companion relayed her story. I was astonished at how powerfully the Spirit filled the room. As I looked into that member's eyes at the close of the lesson, I could tell that she was finally able to feel that what we taught her was true. Not only was my testimony of the Plan of Salvation strengthened, but also my knowledge and testimony on the power of inspiration. This video that I had chosen merely due to its familiarity had become a vessel for my companion to relate to and share her experiences. I don't think my companion and I could have planned this lesson any better if we tried. The church is true, my friends!
Another experience that lent a hand in my decision to serve a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints was actually another Institute presentation. The particular individual who spoke was none other than Sister Elaine S. Dalton, the former general president of the Young Women organization. I went in to the presentation expecting a talk about temple marriage, the joys of raising a family, giving service, yada yada... but that was not the case in this instance. Lo and behold, she spoke about missionary work. Surprise, surprise! Well... I guess that's not entirely true. Some parts of Sister Dalton's talk could easily be related to missionary work, but that wasn't the main focus of her presentation. Her message was actually about how everyone can and should be "a light and a standard for the world"... That seemed very missionary-esque to me! There was one quote in particular that really struck a chord with me. Sister Dalton said: "You are custom made to fulfill you divine eternal mission." Regardless of how short this passage is, there are no words to describe how powerfully this phrase hit me. I was very conscious of, and at times even fed, my shortcomings, fears, and anxieties about serving a mission. After hearing this line from such an inspirational woman, all of these unnecessary concerns became irrelevant. God designed me to be successful in all of my callings, mission related or not. My personality, my thoughts, my feelings, everything about me was made for a reason and not one single part of myself is useless or nonessential. It took me a while to know that this is true, but now that I do, I'll never be the same.
I had some very spiritual experiences involving the temple that were ultimately the deciding factors in all of this. They are sacred to me and I will carry them in my heart as I serve the Lord. Shortly after all of this transpired, I met with my Singles Ward Bishop in September, started my paperwork in December, turned everything in on the 25th of March 2014, and got my call on April 9th.
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Dear Sister Wagstaff,
You are hereby called to serve as a missionary of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. You are assigned to labor in the Russia Samara Mission. It is anticipated that you will serve for a period of 18 months.
You should report to the Provo Missionary Training Center on Wednesday, August 13, 2014. You will prepare to preach the gospel in the Russian language.
I was definitely on a Spiritual high when I read my mission call to my family through Skype and my friends who came to support me. It wasn't until later that I began to grasp the magnitude of my calling. Russia. So foreign. So huge. So intimidating. So many rumors of war. I honestly didn't know what to expect. I have never been, nor will I ever be, afraid or nervous to go to Russia. While I am in the Lord's errand, I will be protected. There's a quote from Man of Steel that has been the #1 support for me as I prepare to go to Russia. The scene that the quote is from takes place towards the beginning of the movie when Clark is a young boy in school and he manifests X-Ray vision and super-hearing during class. As anyone would, he becomes terrified at what is happening and he runs from his classroom. He hides in a janitor's closet, and his mother comes to the school to coax him out. Martha Kent says a short, powerful line that influences more individuals than just Clark. “If the world’s too big, then make it smaller.” Over the summer, I had the opportunity to learn a little bit about the Russian language and culture from one of the most amazing women I have ever met. I was able to learn about the area, the people, the food, etc. before I even set foot in Russia. By learning about my mission beforehand, I kind of made the world smaller for myself. When people are overly scared or anxious about going on a mission, this can sometimes be attributed to the fear of the unknown. The world is too big and people sometimes get scared when they don't know what to expect. If anyone feels like their world is too big, whether you're literally going somewhere in the world that is intimidating or your situation feels big, I would encourage you to educate yourself; learning and praying definitely bridges the gap at least a little and makes the world seem smaller.
I cannot even begin to explain how excited and grateful I am to have this opportunity to share the gospel with the Russian people. I haven't even set foot in Russia yet and I already love it and the people. The overwhelming gratitude I feel toward our loving Heavenly Father for giving me this sacred calling is indescribable. I cannot wait to help people learn the truth and change their lives. Thank you all for your support and for encouraging me along in this journey! I look forward to sharing my story with you as I go on the adventure of a lifetime in Samara, Russia. Adventure is out there!
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